Tigers List Archive

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Mail From: Bennett Cullen <(email redacted)>


Hi Group,
Just thought I would pass along a little Automobile Acronym / Humor.

Cullen Bennett B9472658
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ACURA
Awful,Crappy, Unreliable, Rusty Automobile
Automobile Causes Unusual Road Accidents
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Any Child Understands Real Automobiles
Another Case of a Useless Requested Acronym?

AUDI
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
All Users Die Inside

BMW
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Big Money Waste
Big Money Works
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
Born Moderately Wealthy.
Break My Windows
Broken Money Waster
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Brutal Money Waster
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemized Motorized Wreck
Bastard Money Wielders

BUICK
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Built Under Inspection of Cooky Korean

CAMARO
Can't America Make A Real One?

CHEVROLET
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
Crappy Hot-Running Engines, Very Rusted Out, Lose Every Time

CHEVY
Cheapest Heap Ever enVisioned Yet

CHRYSLER
Car Having Really Yucky Stupid Lazy Engine Runs
Could Have Remained Your Sickly Lame Elderly Relative's

CITROEN
Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters

DODGE
Dying Garbage Emitter
Drips Oil, Drops Grease, Everywhere

DATSUN
Detroit's Angry Towards Sneaky Unscrupulous Nips

FERRARI
Fairly Expensive Repairs Required At Regular Intervals
Frighteningly Expensive Repairs Required At Random Intervals

FIAT
Failure in Automotive Technology
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
Fix It Again, Tony
Fix It All the Time

FORD
First On Recall Day
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot

GMC
Garage Man's Companion
Generally Mediocre Cars
Got More Crap
Got Mechanic Coming

HONDA
Helping Out Nips Destroying America
How Odd - No Damn Acceleration
Hell Of a Nice Damn Automobile

IROC
It's Really Only a Camaro

JEEP
Junk Electrical and Emissions Parts
Jump Excitedly in Every Pothole.
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jumps Everything Ever Parked

LOTUS
Lots of Trouble, Usually Serious
Lots of Trouble, Usually 'Spensive
Leave Off The Unnecessary Stuff
Lots Of Terrific Undersized Sportscars.
Lightweight Obscure Tiny Unreliable Sportscars.

MAZDA
Model All Zoids Drive Aimlessly
Making A Zillion Dollars Annually

MOPAR
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mitsubishi's Over Priced American Replicars

NISSAN
Now In Some Shitty Automobile Nightmare
Nasty Import Sucks Savings Away to Nippon

OLDSMOBILE
Oh Look Dammit, Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything
Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Outdated By Infamies Like Edsel
Old Ladies Driving Slow making Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday

PINTO
Put In New Transmission Often

PLYMOUTH
Please Let Your Mother Out <from> Under The Hood!

PONTIAC
Poor Old Nitwit Thinks Its A Cadillac
Pile Of Nuts Thrown In A Can

PORSCHE
Puts Out Really Smoky Carbonate Hazardous Emissions
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Pulled Over Regularly So Cops Have Enough

RENAULT
Retarded Engine No Acceleration Ugly Lump of Trash

SAAB
Swedish Automobile - Always Broken

SUBARU
Send Undercover Boat And Radioactive Uranium

TOYOTA
Taking Our Yen Out -- Thanks All

TRIUMPH
The Risk Involving Useless Machinery Pays Heavily

VW
Very Worthless

STP
Stop Those Pistons.

Q: How do you make a Yugo go faster?
A: A tow truck.

Q: What do you call the shock absorbers inside a Yugo?
A: Passengers.

Q: Why does a Yugo have a heated rear window?
A: So you hands won't get cold while you're pushing it.

Q: How can you get a Yugo to do 60 miles an hour?
A: Push it over a cliff.

A friend went to a dealer the other day and said,
"I'd like a gas cap for my Yugo."
The dealer replied, "OK. Sounds like a fair trade."